Goodbye to the Mama Drama

While the weeks continue to pass, Addisyn changes daily. Little ones at this age are so much fun. They begin to notice the world and people around them. Their world includes more than just mommy and daddy now. They are intrigued by everything, just think about it…EVERYTHING is new to them! As we finally got Addisyn to start taking a bottle, and were celebrating that victory, we realized it was quickly time to begin contemplating when we would start solids. How, when, and why? After much research, I decided on making all of her baby food, for many reasons. We aren’t beginning solids yet, but I am getting prepared.  I selected the process which I preferred to use to make it and shopped around for the least expensive price on the Beaba Baby Food maker.  I ordered that and other goodies including a recipe book, storage containers, and more. While I was shopping around for these items I read SEVERAL reviews, as I always do.  Reading these reviews had me asking the question, “Is there any point?”  Is there any point in reading reviews, when only I am going to be able to decide if this product is right for me??  For me personally, the reviews help, I want to know what everyone else says about the product and their experiences, in order to help make my decision.  There are times of parenting when you do care to hear the opinions of others, and there are times you don’t.

Last week, I also read several articles and blogs; parenting propaganda at it’s finest.  Some reads were uplifting, some were successfully informative, and some left me feeling pretty ticked off! The most outrageous read was a blog that gave all the reasons why a mother “regretted” her decision to stay at home with her child. However, it wasn’t the authors words that set indifferently with me… it was the readers comments and reaction!  After reading a list (that I personally don’t agree with) I saw the readers cheering on a mother who had just slammed an entire group of women and was receiving praise for these actions! Wow! It was here that I felt the need to rally my troops, and by that, I don’t mean fellow stay at home mothers, I mean ALL women and mothers. Aren’t you sick of the mama drama?

It’s time that we start celebrating the differences that make us who we are as parents. What I choose for my daughter and my journey of motherhood is not going to be right for everyone and vice versa! Some of the points addressed in the article I mentioned above referenced a wasted education, letting down past generations of women, and a fear of children thinking their mother did “nothing.” Does anyone else hear those reasons and feel sorry for the woman who wrote them? I do! That is the thought that I couldn’t get off my mind. How sorry I felt for the woman who sat down and put those thoughts on paper. In regards to just those few mentioned issues, I personally could not be further on the other end of the spectrum…and that’s okay!  The badge of motherhood is not one size fits all, and it’s time we lose that mentality.

My husband and I made the decision for me to stay at home with our daughter together.  It was not an easy decision, and it weighed heavily on me. After much prayer and contemplation, we decided that I would be able to better provide for our daughter by choosing to stay at home with her.  I cherish every second I spend at home with her. That decision is exactly right for ME, while it isn’t right for so many families. Yes, I have a Master’s degree in education that I’m not using in the typical work environment, but that doesn’t mean it’s not valuable or that I’m not using it at all.  Those things I learned in my 6 plus years of school, they contribute to who I am today. Those skills that I acquired will help craft my daughters first experiences with the world around her and promote HER learning. And the reality? I gave up a significant salary, still owing several, SEVERAL, thousands of dollars on my education and I still don’t view my degree as useless or regret my decision. Now I could address the other issues in the article that I don’t agree with… but that’s not the point of this post. I could go on about how I feel those statements bash a large group of intelligent, skilled, and wonderful women who choose to stay at home with their children each day but that’s not my style, nor something I care to do. It’s important that we erase the thought process that one mother’s decisions are better than those of another or that there is only one way to parent. There are many. Do it your own way. Embrace your own style, and don’t listen to the grief of others. You owe no one an explanation for your choices, you’re making them for your child. When you look back, you’ll see you’re really rocking out this mothering thing, with no help from your haters!

I also read an amazing post last week, it was an uplifting blog post addressed to breastfeeding mothers who for various reasons had stopped breastfeeding. This post encouraged and uplifted these women to let go of the fault that society may place on them. Really, America? Do we need to place blame on a breastfeeding mother who switched to formula for whatever reason when it is none of your business? Does a new mom need yet another thing to be concerned about whether it was done correctly? Do you lie awake at night worried that yet another baby, that you don’t know, will be taken off the breast of a woman whom you also don’t know? The sad thing is… many mothers allow other people to make them feel bad for choosing how to parent their own children in the way they prefer.  I have several great mommy friends, we do some things similar and some very different, and we support each other while doing so. There’s a special group of girls, The Tulips, who all have children around Addisyn’s age. They live all over the country and even in Canada! (Hey Tulips!!!) We have all bonded over pregnancy and the newborn stages of life. I mean… who else of your friends really cares to hear you whine or complain about these types of things unless they’re going through them too? What’s best about this group of ladies is we support each others “mama” decisions! “You formula feed? Wonderful, I’ll send you some coupons!” “You just got your little one to take a bottle after four months? Congrats!”  Let me tell you, it is BEAUTIFUL when women support each other!

Whether breast or bottle fed, working in or outside the home, store bought or cloth diapers, co-sleeping or not, it doesn’t matter! What works for your child is what is best for you, and we should embrace and not judge the decisions of fellow mothers.  I don’t care how you feed, clothe, diaper, or parent your child. If you do it out of love…and you do your best…then you’re a ROCKSTAR!!

Take a moment and make a mom you know feel GREAT about all she does! If there’s no one there telling you how great of a job you’re doing… I am. You’re doing great mom! Keep doing it your way!