A Perfect Chaos

It has been 5 weeks since I logged on and wrote letters to each of my loves as we anxiously awaited the arrival of our new addition to our family! During that hiatus, we have fallen head over heels in love with our new little guy! Josiah Steven was born on January 19, 2016 at 8:08AM weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz and 21 inches long!  Life has been nothing short of amazing as we have transitioned to a family of four. Addisyn adores her little brother and proudly bears the title of big sister. Justin is his ever awesome self and has helped out and taken amazing care of us all as I’ve recovered. Gunner has gotten even more protective over both Addisyn and Josiah, if that’s possible. And the little man, he’s kept us all on our toes!

One of the best parts of my day is going in to get Addisyn as soon as she wakes. I’ll hear her singing in the monitor or thinking out loud her adorable random thoughts without pause…”it’s going to snow today, Daddy will bring a surprise, Hi everybody, Pluto…Donald…MICKEY, we’re going to the park with buddies!” You name it, she thinks and says it. Shortly after hearing her voice, we’ll go in to get her and are always greeted with the sweetest salutations and her beaming smile. Yesterday, like many days, I was solo in getting Addy up because Daddy was already at work I was greeted with these words, “Hi Mommy! Mommy have boo-boos! Okay Mommy?”

You know it’s been a long night with your newborn when your almost 2 year old immediately identifies the dark circles under your eyes that result from a total of 2 hours of sleep and consoling a tummy-troubled newborn most of the night.  You also know it’s going to be a long day when it’s 8:15 AM, and you’ve already been peed and vomited on requiring several wardrobe changes and your baby only woke at 8:00 AM. Welcome to the newborn stages all over again. It’s amazing how quickly you forget these moments. You are so busy attending to the tasks of each little moment and before you know it the days, weeks, months have flown by and you’re planning a second birthday party. Really? Do babies have to grown so quickly?

Yet still, these days (and rough nights) can seem like the longest of your life.  The second time around is definitely more challenging, especially with 2 under 2! It makes me wonder what I did all day when I had only one sleepy newborn requiring my attention every moment.  While out for a walk with the littles, my awesome hubby acknowledged that for the past 3 years I have either been pregnant or nursing; both of which seem to alter daily life a bit. He asked, “won’t you be happy to have your life back when these stages are over and the kids are a little older?”  My answer was simple. To me, this IS life. These days are not days that I’m wishing away, wishing for my children to grow and provide me freedom. I love where we are in our lives! Of course, I adore seeing my children grow and do new things. There’s something super amazing about watching your previously timid 1 year old run up the playground by herself and zip down the “swirly” slide on her own, proudly cheering for herself at the bottom. It is so magnificent watching her become her own person. But that’s just it, going through parenthood at all stages, including the challenging newborn stage that leaves bags under your eyes (that you most certainly won’t take the time to cover up with make-up) to me is life.

This is what I live for. My family. My beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby girl who is a month shy of turning 2 (where did the last two years go?!), my breathtakingly handsome 5 week old that I could stare at for hours, lost in his newborn deliciousness, and my truly amazing handsome husband who makes life fun every day. That’s what life is for me.

(Photo credit for this photo: Charity Mack)

It’s not wishing for days of the past or the future where I occupied a cozy office or where I’ll be able to sleep past 7 am whenever I choose, but it’s the here and now.  It’s the laughter and smiles, the walks to the park, the snuggles and cuddles, the learning of colors, wiping messy faces and hands, repeating myself several times a day, requiring several wardrobe changes just to make it to 9 AM, never getting bored with Addisyn’s constant dialogue, and recently trying to figure out how to care for two little people who both need me at the same time while ignoring my own full bladder and making the poor dog fend for himself.  It’s little sleep but lots of laughs. It’s knowing they need a nap but missing them as soon as they’re down. It’s kisses and hugs and arguing over who loves who more, and it’s everything in between. It’s truly a blessing, a sort of perfect chaos. It’s what I live for…and I love it!

Welcome to the world Josiah, I don’t know how we’ve lived our lives without you in it!