Escaping the “What NOW” Syndrome

After an early morning run on Monday, I was almost back to my house berating myself the whole way because my time was about a minute longer than I desired. I was completely unsatisfied and started the usual banter of negative self-talk in my head. After needlessly beating myself up for a few minutes a revelation of sorts crossed my mind, at least for that day. Why was this not enough? Why was I not able to be content in the moment?

I had ran that cloudy, dreary morning after little sleep and before 6 AM.  I had awakened to nurse my daughter and instead of allowing me to get back into bed, my husband encouraged me to lace up my shoes. Sure it would be easy for him to say, “stay,” and for me to crawl back into the cozy bed for a few more minutes of cuddle time; but he doesn’t do this. He doesn’t do this because he knows my heart. He knows what I love and what I need. He knows that those precious minutes that I’m running are fuel for my soul and body and that it’s important to me. So even on days after I’ve been up most of the night, my amazing husband says to me, “go on, hit the pavement,” and he does that for me. So why, after the pleasure of being able to run that morning, was it still not enough when the run was over?

Our society is always looking for the next big thing. Or the What now? syndrome. It’s not enough to do our best anymore. We are so caught up in what we envision in our heads that we miss out on enjoying the here and now. It happens all the time in several facets of daily life. It’s not enough just to be able to run; we have to run faster. We’re always looking for the cheapest price, more options, or going one step further.  When we get caught in these cycles of life we miss the celebration and enjoyment of small moments. We place numerical indicators on levels of achievement, and scrutinize ourselves to identify our success. Once we reach that fictitious level we have deemed in our minds as a success, it’s still not enough and we are left to say, what now? How can I go faster, be better, and do more to be successful?  We must re-define success in our lives. American culture approaches success with the “do more, be better” motto. It’s time to forget those ideas and resolve to be the best we can be while not losing sight of our ultimate goals and dreams. We need to stop picking a number on a scale and resolve to be healthy. We need to reduce our fixation on a specific title for our desk and enjoy our daily work. We must be bold enough to chase our dreams in a way that we still enjoy each moment of our daily lives.

Aside from re-defining success. We must also realize that we are not of this world. Nothing in this world, no level of success, will ever be truly enough for our souls because our souls were made by a divine creator and yearn to be in the presence of God. When you take a moment and contemplate the love our Savior has for us, nothing else compares or is sufficient. We are left to yearn in this world because we are not of this world, but of another more divine and more impeccable existence that He already has planned for us. This thought is the only hope that often keeps me going when the weight of the grief of losing my sister is to heavy. She is in the divine presence of our savior, and who am I to wish her back to this earth for any miniscule second. The other piece to that, is that because I have the Lord as my Savior, I know I will see her again. Therefore our hearts are to rejoice as God calls us to, and can rejoice, because we have a blessed promise awaiting us.

I had the pleasure of listening to an amazing guest pastor at our church on Sunday who posed the question, “Are you willing to suffer loss for what God has done and promises to do in your lives?” That’s a powerful question. Are we willing to suffer because of WHO God is? If we’re honest with ourselves about our faith, it has to be strong enough to know that no matter what our circumstances in life are, that God’s will reigns supreme and we will be victorious with Him in the end. In those moments where our best is still not enough, God is.  In those moments when society tells us we’re not smart enough, thin enough, wealthy enough, GOOD enough, God is.   When we’re left saying “What Now?” God is the answer.  Perhaps if we forget what society defines success as, we can enjoy the here and now. We can celebrate our victories no matter how small. We can rejoice in the simple moments of life, and not wait for the ending. We can stop climbing the social ladder and focus on living for God’s will and purpose.