Why I Said Goodbye to Mom Guilt, and My Two Cents on What Constitutes Colorful Writing

There is one thing that has annoyed me…forever. Or as long as the “trend” has been popular if you will.  I am a reader and researcher at heart; I love to read! I love to know more about the things that interest me, therefore I frequently read blogs and online writing. You know what “trend” annoys me to my core? That one of cursing in your online writing…a lot.  First and foremost, I’m not a prude, I’m not a stranger to the nature of cussing. I don’t care if you cuss like a sailor (as long as you’re not in front of my kids). I don’t even mind if I’m reading a book that has a strategically placed word here or there. I mean let’s be real…I married a Marine. When my husband returned from deployments I would sometimes wonder how someone could actually create a sentence with so few actual words. However in writing, especially the trend of women’s blogging, I feel it takes far more effort to insert these “colorful” words throughout your writing than it does to actually attempt to become a better writer by expanding your vocabulary. If the only way you can keep a reader’s attention is by dropping a few f-bombs, do yourself (and me) a favor by buying a thesaurus or taking a creative writing class. Let’s be honest, all those extra f##k$ you’re typing are wasting valuable keystrokes and by the fifth one, I’ve probably already left your blog because I’ve determined your writing isn’t really worth my time. For example, to express added emphasis I can use the words “monumental”, or “paramount” in my writing instead of dropping a few f-bombs and other four-letter words to peak your interest. Do us all a favor and actually attempt to perfect the art of writing by using actual words. Anyway… onto the real reason I’m writing this post.

There’s one thing that I’m totally guilty of on the mom front. It’s that mom guilt that plagues us all.  In fact, I had this type of guilt comparison far before I was a mom.  I hold myself to extreme standards and I always find that no matter how hard I try I cannot fight back those feelings of “that wasn’t good enough” regarding all aspects of life. Especially when it comes to mom-ing. So what is my point? I finally decided to QUIT with the comparisons, and chuck the mom-guilt out of the window. For your sanity, you should do the same!  In our current world there are far too many things to get lost in. Am I buying enough organic, all-natural products without added XYZ? What poison is lurking in my sunscreen, bug spray, teething aid, etc.?  Am I providing enough learning and enrichment for my children? What will be the doom he faces because he receives less tummy-time than his sister, and is always on the go with us? What life-altering consequence will there be because I made the organic macaroni and cheese with organic milk, but Country Crock instead of real butter? I mean…do you see how silly these examples are? Do me a favor and think about your own self-talk. If you’re honest, there are several similar questions circling in your own head that are legitimate concerns you have.

I’m all for buying organic, all-natural, and get made fun of by my lovely husband and my own mother for being a little too “crunchy” at times. I’m all for researching sleep trends, learning trends, and attempting to promote enrichment and development among our children. I mean that’s what parents do!  When I finally decided that if I continued to hold each decision I must make daily as a mother under a microscope and act as if that one factor was going to make or break the success of my child, I finally said ENOUGH. (I see those SAT scores dropping as we speak…NOT!) I mean come on moms, give yourself a break. We have enough to worry about. There’s enough real-life moments taking place that will make you forget all about feeding your kid pizza and cookies…for the second time this week. There’s enough laughs and fun to be had outside that will make you forget the organic bug spray was in your other bag.  There’s enough reasons we beat ourselves up as parents… are we too early, too late, too lenient, too strict, too real, too harsh, too coddling….I’m exhausted just typing this list. The point… be you, love your children, and give yourself a bit of grace.

Let the mom-guilt go. Every choice you make is made out of love for your child (I know that!) and give yourself the grace and freedom of knowing that it’s okay to give them pizza and cookies, but it’s also okay to avoid it all costs. It’s okay to exclusively breastfeed, and it’s okay to never attempt. It’s okay to use pacifiers and/or have thumb-suckers. It’s okay to buy all organic vegetables, and it’s okay to turn your nose up at those prices and pass them on by. It’s okay if your kid hates milk, eggs, vegetables, and demands to be fed only blue box macaroni and cheese. It’s okay if you co-sleep, it’s okay if you don’t.  It’s okay if your attempts at potty-training have been less than successful; your kid won’t wear depends crossing the stage at graduation.  It’s okay if you disagree with any and everything I’m saying. My only point is we are all moms, we are all on the same agenda, and it’s exhausting to live life thinking we aren’t measuring up to par in caring for our babies. So let’s stop with the mom-guilt and support each other. Good job mom! Good job! Bravo!