Running

I feel like I’ve been writing this post for years in my head. Which is actually perfect because I made a promise to myself two months ago to carve out time for writing, blogging, and painting amidst the chaos of life that is mothering and homeschooling three beautiful kiddos and keeping up with their busy firsts, fun, and lives, but I have yet to make good on that promise until…now. That was such a run-on sentence, but life feels a lot like that lately, so I’m keeping it. There’s just never enough time in the days. I create space and time for those things that are important to the other people in my life, I spend my days focusing on being a better mother, a better wife, a better friend… and yet it’s always quarter to eleven and I’m still folding laundry and burning the candle at both ends. There’s not much time left in between to sit at the keyboard to write down all the random things bouncing around in my brain. I love that life is full and busy, and full of wonderful things and people… if only it would slow down so I could catch my breath that’d be great. Since that’s not going to happen, I give you… running.

I have spent many many hours, and countless steps running. Actually running. Sometimes I wonder if I’m running away from something, or towards it. From track to cross country in college, to therapeutic steps on miles of sidewalks… it’s my thing. It’s not easy, and it’s not hard. It takes little thought and just the ambition of putting one foot in front of the other (literally), yet it’s still a massive mental battle more than a physical feat. At the same time that it is physically challenging, it’s also both mentally and physically freeing. On long runs that are grueling, your body oddly becomes relaxed. It’s such an oxymoron of an activity, if you will. On those runs I’ve thought many thoughts, prayed many prayers, and found therapy in my time on the pavement. It’s quite literally the only time I’m solo, and able to just let go and clear my head. It’s how I dealt with the stress of multiple deployments of my husband, how I began to process the grief of losing my sister, and how I get a breather from mom-ing to be a better mom when I return. Maybe your thing isn’t running… maybe it’s something else… stay with me thinking of that.

Life is very much like running. The highs, the lows, and the in between. So many things change in our lives, I can say running and fitness have likely been the only constants in my life that have lasted multiple decades besides a very few dear friendships with bonds that cannot be broken. Running is always there. I have ran through multiple seasons (sometimes in one week living in Virginia), I have ran through leaves, snow, sweltering heat, beautiful sunrises and sunsets, chasing butterflies down the street, passing neighbors and pausing briefly to catch up and sometimes up before the sun seeing nothing but crisp air and more pavement. I have outran playlists and multiple pairs of shoes, I have puked on the side of mountain hills in races and was annoyed for the slow down before I could get back on the track. I have ran through it all. Pregnancy. Grief. Happiness. Rain. Sadness. Sickness. You name it.

Why does this matter? Because when life becomes burdensome, when it becomes overwhelming, we all need that one thing, or person, that we can turn to. So maybe you’re a runner, or maybe you’re not. Maybe you have something else you turn to, or maybe you need someone or something to turn to. I’m not suggesting you start running, rather suggesting that you slow down today to pay attention to what you might truly need. I spend my days serving and loving on all my people… my husband, my children, friends, but I save very little for myself. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but it’s imperative I carve out some tiny things for myself, like runs. Maybe conquering your day takes a lot more than others know and you need to find that outlet. Maybe you’re in need of an ear just to listen, just to remind you that you have worth, and beauty, and purpose. I don’t know who needs to hear this message, but sometimes when we pour out all we have to others, we forget that our hearts, minds, and bodies still need and deserve to be poured into.

So…wherever you are in life…. whatever part of that run you’re on… I hope you take some time to check in with yourself, because you’re important too! May your mind be renewed, and your heart be full! May you find a constant, when all else seems to change. If you need an ear, I would love to pray for you, or be that ear.

XOXO,

Kristy