Roadside Crosses

Today, I passed a bright pink cross adorned with lettering on the side of a busy intersection. I was leaving errands with my son, and heading to get my daughter from pre-school. Flowers crowded the ground at the bottom of the cross, and I stopped and prayed for the family members and friends who laid them there. The thing is… this cross was eerily similar to one that rests exactly 196 miles and one right turn away… another pink cross which was laid for my sister.

Do you ever stop to think of the gravity that thousands of people pass these crosses? That’s it… that’s all the intended emphasis… that thousands of us PASS these crosses daily. We are so busy doing and going about our lives, that passing these points seem like no monumental feet. It’s an act so simple to us, that most probably don’t notice the weathered crosses adorning the road, that implicate a space that at one point in time was paramount to someone. At one point in time these very spaces were life-changing, life-altering, earth shattering moments for dearly loved people and their families. Because of that, I try to notice each one. I even bring it up to my children and say, “there’s a cross like DeeDee’s…let’s pray for their family”. My children are unfortunately keenly aware of death. They have struggled for years to arrange the pieces in place regarding my sister’s death to understand it. They just recently endured the loss of my grandmother, their Mamaw. We had to confront her passing head on, and they understood that they were going to tell her goodbye the last time they saw her. They now talk about the fact that she’s in Heaven with DeeDee, and Gunner (our dog who passed two weeks after my grandmother).

This morning was different than most mornings, I was incredibly frustrated with my husband. I didn’t have the patience I usually do for his incessant work calls and the amount of attention his job takes. If we are lucky, Justin gets to see our children and I one out of five mornings. This morning (far earlier than normal working hours for most) we fixed coffee and sat to enjoy it together. Only moments later to be interrupted for the first of four work phone calls before it was time for Justin to head to work and us to grab backpacks for school. My frustration was major, my patience was thin, and I didn’t bother concealing the annoyance of the fact that our family time is constantly interrupted with work, and the corporate world needing saving. He wasn’t high on my list when we left, so I begrudgingly kissed him goodbye and went about my day. (Let me pause to say, this man works hard for his family, and is very dedicated to his job. I so greatly appreciate the way he provides for us and his ambition and commitment in his career. If he does any ONE thing better than all others, it would be loving and providing for his family and I’m so very grateful for that. You rock, Justin Hall.)

In the car with my children I proceeded to do what we always do in the mornings, we pray. We pray for their Daddy, we pray for their day, we pray for traveling grace and the ability to be kind and loving, we pray for needs of others, we pray for friends and family, and people we know and don’t know. We prayed for their Daddy just like usual. Then we passed that cross, and it dawned on me how blessed myself and so many others were to pass those spots, that represent pain and agony for so many. Having a roadside cross that is representative of my own personal pain, and a very deep loss makes this action hit even harder. It made me think that I should use caution about the way I speak to my husband and others every day. It made me think about how we all, at any given moment, are seconds or more from life-altering events. Yet, we so often go through our days like they are endless and there will always be time.

What does any one of these things have to do with the other? We have one life to live. We have, if we’re lucky, a life expectancy of roughly 78 years old as Americans (according to the CDC). Some people, like my sister, get far less than that. Regardless of where you are on that number line to 78, what have you done that will make a difference in the lives of others? What do you do daily that will make a difference in the lives of those you love? What legacy do you leave?

As long as you’re still breathing, there’s still time. Still time for goals and to fulfill desires. Still time to be kind, because kindness costs you nothing. Still time to give your life to Christ, (or even find out more about what He’s about). Still time to reach for the stars, or just reach for your loved ones while they’re still here. Still time to give your husband more grace than you feel he deserves because there are many times we need grace ourselves (and he does a kickass job of providing for your family…I’m preaching to myself here). Death is painful, and it changes you. Losing someone incredibly close to you is blindsiding and challenges you to your core, but we honor those people with what we do with our lives. We honor them with roadside crosses, memorials, and good deeds. We honor them with choosing to live because they lived and made us better people. So we must live well. The next time you pass a roadside cross, think of the family and friends who laid it there, and maybe commit to a conscious act of kindness, as a tribute to that person.