Creating Space- Discovering Freedom

The definition of freedom from Merriam-Webster is “the state of being free from the control or power of another”.  How many ways do we restrict our own freedom in our lives? Discovering freedom usually means we have to let go of judgements, persecution, lies of the enemy, past hurts/events, burdens, feelings of self-worth, and much more.

Perhaps it’s a past bad-relationship or feelings of unworthiness. Perhaps it’s a particular event or a season of life that has memories too hurtful to easily overcome, or perhaps it’s just an overpacked schedule that requires the ability to discern when to say, “no”.  Most of us could use a little extra “freedom” in our lives. A little more letting go of the bad, to make room for a lot more good. A conscious decision to trade the frantic for restoration, or a finding a happy mix in between. The point is, it’s okay to make space for yourself.  Somewhere along the journey of adult/parenthood it’s easy to lose pieces of  ourselves while embarking on the care-taking journey.  Whether that’s sharing yourself between your career and your family, or between the tasks of taking care of children all day and your own desires/needs, it seems we let a disconnect emerge where it’s okay to put ourselves last for the good of those who surround us.  There are times where that’s absolutely necessary (and with mom-life, those times are frequent) but that doesn’t mean that has to be the case always. 

There is such freedom in trading the mundane for the extraordinary; so much freedom in identifying what makes you happy and deciding to chase that.  Freedom in deciding where life needs some weeding out and letting go of toxic relationships and distancing toxic people.  You don’t have to keep everyone and everything you make commitments to (or invest time into) in your life, and you shouldn’t! People change, circumstances change, and you can empty your friends and to-do lists as needed.  When you intentionally remove things (or things are otherwise removed from your life) it creates new space for yourself and new freedoms.  So take an inventory of your life, and make sure whatever you give your time and attention gives back to you.  Invest in people who are worth your time, and things that bring you joy and spread joy to others.  Let go of the past, embrace the new day you have each morning. Get rid of those toxic relationships, (there are real modern day mean-girl moms you guys, and you don’t have to remain friends with them!)  Find your people and love them hard. Find your purpose, find what makes you happy and excited and chase that.  Creating space in your life is kind of like “Marie Kondo-ing” your personal life instead of your closet.  If it doesn’t bring you joy, let it go, and trade it for something that does! Disclaimer, this doesn’t mean letting go is always easy, but for me, it’s been necessary and worth it many times in my life.  It’s often  like ripping off a band-aid.  I’ve parted ways with toxic people that I once loved hard, and I’ve been so much the better for it! I’ve parted ways with jobs and tasks that I took on, only to find that they drained instead of fueled my life.  Now, I’m overly cautious with what and whom I invest my time in.  After enduring many years of my husband’s Marine Corps service at war time, life-altering tragic accidents and death of dear loved ones, and loving and supporting family who are facing/have faced major challenges… one lesson life has taught me is… time is something you do not get back.  So, invest it wisely!

We don’t have control over everything stressful or difficult in our lives.  I’m not advocating for quitting your job today because it doesn’t bring you joy. I’m advocating for you to make space and create situations that bring you joy through changing your mindset.  I’m advocating for you to make yourself a priority and be more intentional about finding joy in the only life you have to live.  Slow down when you need to, go fast when you want, and when you can’t change things around you, change your mood/mentality at the very least.  There is no title that you can hold that is worth sacrificing your whole self.  There is no circumstance that happened in the past that can continue to drain your joy, if you refuse to allow that. Be joyful. Make memories.  Make mistakes and learn from them. Laugh (even at yourself). Create the space you need in your life. 

XOXO,

Kristy