A Blog and a Baby are Born

I became a mother on March 27, 2014.  I am certain, after just six short weeks of motherhood, that this is the reason that I am on this earth. In life I’ve experienced my share of both happiness and hurt.  Becoming Addisyn’s mother saved me… from myself.  After experiencing grief and loss to a level I did not know existed, I resolved to live life but not enjoy it. I accepted the lie from the devil that I would never have the feelings of true happiness again. I loved The Lord, my husband, and my family dearly, as always, but I lost interest in all other things that made me “me.” I flipped on the auto-pilot mode and merely floated through life.  I smiled and felt guilty, I laughed and immediately cried.  I continued to interact and live, but I was disconnected without even realizing it. And then, God chose me to be Addisyn’s mother.  Then I had the months of pregnancy to contemplate how I would accept this miracle, the gift of life, while drowning in the grief of the loss of my sister at too early of an age. Throughout those months, I changed…slowly.  I grew.  I overcame, even though I still have so far to go.

In life when we least expect it, God’s grace provides exactly what we need, exactly in his time. Often, you don’t even see this happening.  You just wake up one day and realize that while you were sleeping, while you were on auto-pilot, God was moving mountains and defeating giants.
In the moments after giving birth to my daughter, I smiled with sheer joy and had tears of happiness streaming down my face.  The devil was a liar, while my grief still exists it does not define me, nor confine me. In those moments, I found my voice again. I will forever wear my badge of grief as a testament to the love I have for my sister, and now my heart has grown new room to love my daughter and regain passion for my life as well.  In the moments and weeks since my daughter was born, I found my voice to tell my story, to openly laugh, smile, love, and even hurt. That is how a blog and a baby were born.

What mountains need to be moved in your life? What giants are in need of defeating? Give those mountains and giants to God, hand them over to Him today.  We don’t have to speechlessly carry them alone when we place our faith in Christ.

Matthew 17:20; 1 Samuel 17