Accountability for My Children…what I think they’ll need for Themselves and for Society

We live in a world where an entire generation or more of individuals have been raised with the mentality that they are not responsible for their own actions. Every bad, or unfortunate event, and unforeseen circumstances rests at the feet of someone else, and there is always someone else to blame for their misfortune. A scapegoat to take the fall for all circumstances, regardless of their participation. There is a whole generation of victims who are blameless in their own sight. These gentle lambs are quick to grab a sign and become an activist against their oppression/oppressors, take to the streets, make their voices heard, support a cause (even if you don’t fully back or understand that cause) and earn justice, but they aren’t quick to acknowledge or admit that they themselves are quite possibly the biggest influencing factor in them being held back from anything in this world. My desire isn’t to change the world from the mentality that we as a society feel are all owed something, even though the truth is … we are owed nothing. But I sure have a mission to make a change in my household regarding that mentality. Starting with my own household, and parenting my own children in the hopes that they are better citizens, better people.

You see…I’m raising a 3 and 4-year-old, and even in their toddler innocence they know there are consequences for their actions. There are natural consequences that they meet by accidentally not watching where they are going (and running into something) or because they make a choice to not listen to the guidance of their parents. Then, there are consequences that are direct choices of their actions in the nature of reprimands or punishments for bad choices that they make which either infringe upon others or are not in their own best interest. They deal with these consequences daily. They’re still very much figuring out the world and how it works, discovering new social interactions, discovering new likes and preferences they have, discovering new comforts and new dislikes, respectively. And among all of this, they have to deal with understanding that there is a set of rules in society that they must cooperate by and coexist among. We teach them kindness, respect, and consideration. You see, as their mother and father, it is our job to ensure that they are functioning, kind members of society. That fact has little to do with that we are Christians, but it also have everything to do with that as well. It’s my job as a parent to make sure my children are contributing members of society, it’s a bonus that they get to learn to be the hands and feet of Christ and spread love to others because they have the love of Jesus in their hearts. Because Jesus loves us, we love others, it’s really that simple. I teach them tolerance, respect, kindness, care, and show them daily how we can love the people around us. It’s not a job I take lightly as a parent. The gift of possessing integrity and making them reslilient to the struggles of this world is one of the best gifts I can give them. Teaching them how to overcome the pressures of this world and to refute what the world says they must be is one of the best ways I can equip them to be true to themselves, true to the act of really loving others, and true to Christ.

As their mother, it’s in my job description and my desire to give them the courage to be more and to do more, to be a good person, and teach them to authentically love and care for others. To do that, they must be able to form appropriate opinions, truly accept and love others, and tolerate the diversity and opinions of everyone. But overall, they must be able to be held accountable for their own their actions, decisions, and not expect someone, somewhere to intercede for them just because things didn’t go their way. I take away the word “fair” from 3 and 4-year-old because, well frankly… life isn’t fair. Life is made up of choices, events, reactions, and consequences. It is not composed of magic pixie dust and fair rules for all. Sometimes your ability to reach a certain goal, achieve a desired success, or just be content with exactly who and where you are relies solely on your ability to decide to get there on your own, instead of expecting someone else to hand you that achievement. Taking a stance and believing in something, or saying something is wrong does is great, having voices and opinions is fabulous. Crusading for a faux injustice just because the wind didn’t blow the way you wanted it to, is ridiculous. We need to teach our children to be able to appropriately define who they are, without infringing on others, and without feeling entitled about anything. Make no mistake that there is no condemnation in Jesus Christ, whatever your past affiliation, life choices, bad decisions, great decisions, skeletons, pride, or best achievements… no list of accolades makes your further away from or closer to God. There’s one thing… choosing to follow Christ that solidifies where you are in relation to God. Not your political views, not any other describing factor. It’s Christ. I want my children to be more like Him. I want my children to truly be like to Christ, to love like Him, to accept others like Him. I want them to fellowship with people of all walks of life and love and care for them with an authentic acceptance to show who the real Jesus is. I want so much for them, and to give them that, I must ensure they have the gift of integrity, so that they always hold themselves accountable for their actions and never place blame on anyone else. They can choose to live life unoffended (going completely against the current mentality of society), and wholly accepting of others, not feeling like they are owed anything or entitled. And they will always find me in their corner, not just as their biggest fan, but also as their parent, ensuring they become responsible, remain loving, and are able to find the joy in this thing called life.

XOXO,

Kristy